Community college: A big playground for guys to hit on girls. First off I want to thank all the guys who's goal is to come here to show off their mad vibes in hopes that the girls will smell it and flock to them. I thank you because you entertain me more than you will ever know.



I have waited a while to post this subject because I wanted to take in as much as I could about it. I still have so much more to grasp in this world of guys thinking and acting like they are the coolest thing since girls. Here's a little news for you guys out there. You look like idiots. Yeah pretty much that sums it up in one sentence. Now, I can't read girls minds but I'm pretty sure most of what I have witnessed is not something most girls are attracted to. I'm no love doctor either so please don't think I know what girls want. I'm simply here to state what I have seen and then leave. Lets start in my writing class. I wrote previously about three guys who all try to hit on a girl who sits in front of me. Well, one of them (the gangster of the bunch) is the one I would like to talk about. First off, his pants only come up to his upper thigh. That's pretty cool and all. Or retarded. You decide. While I sat in class one day he turns towards her and says this with such confidence, "hey, we sure do whisper a lot. Most people don't whisper as much as you and me do in class". Ok, ARE YOU SERIOUS? Really? Of course she responded with "oh I know, we should totally hangout sometime!" NO. That's not how she responded. I think I would get up and slap both of them. Remember how in the second grade we used to play chase? Girls would chase boys. Boys would chase boys. Girls would always run away screaming. Well now, 12 years later, it seems like we are playing the same game. By "we" I mean the boys at Chemeketa. How old are you? And you still don't know how to talk to a girl. Fantastic. He did, somehow, manage to get her number and even though they sit two feet from each other, he texts all through class. Conveniently, he has the same phone as her so naturally he wants to borrow her phone all the time and compare. Wow. "hey can I compare your phone with mine? I know it's the same and all but I'm retarded and think that by doing this maybe you will like me." I just amazes me how stupid some people are. I mean, I love it because, well, I laugh and it makes me happy. Well this was chapter one. I need to do some more observations and write again about this sometime. I have lots but nothing to great so stay tuned!

Math Class

As I prepared for math this morning (and by "prepared" I mean got my notebook out to write notes in) I thought to myself, I need something to wake me up because I'm tired. So I sat patiently waiting for something to wake me up. That was stupid. Who waits for something to wake them up? I was tired.



Something did happen which was amazing. As Mr Teacher was telling us students how to put an equation into our very over priced calculators, we all followed with intensity. He then said, "and by putting that all into the calculator we get a graph with nothing on it". Thank you for making me to all that work just so nothing happens. Now what happened next you might read and go "Jon, that happens and people make mistakes." Just keep reading on thank you. I heard this response "actually my graph has something on it". Mr. Teacher quickly snapped back with, "did you put parenthesis around the exponent?" "Oh no hehe". Simple mistake right? Wrong. Our last class was spent by students trying to correct Mr. Teacher with their answers coming from their calculators. Every time they would try to correct him he would ask if they had put the equation in correctly. Every time was the same story, "oh no I forgot to put that in". Ok, so by this time in our lives of math here at Chemeketa we should learn that when Mr. Teacher says this is the answer that we should get on our calculators, then thats probably the right answer. When you get something different then every other person in the class including the teacher, maybe fight the urge to speak up boldly and proudly like you found a mistake and you have the correct answer, and spare yourself the embarrassment of getting shot out of the sky and falling face first. No matter how many times it happens, people don't think to check how they put the equation into their calculator and they speak to quickly. Also I'm pretty sure every calculator in that class (which are Texas Instruments) have the same software on them. So I'm pretty sure if you have a different answer then everyone else you put the equation in wrong. Thank you for you attempt though! I love it.
-Jon

Morning Fog

They say out of ten times you see a person from far away and fantasize about the way they look, nine times you will regret that fantasy. Welcome to community college.

When I talk about fantasies I'm not just talking about "hot" people or "drop dead gorgeous" people. This reffers to many aspects of Community College. When I see someone and I say to myself, this person looks pretty cool, then they smile. OH! Hello I liked you better with your mouth shut. Maybe don't smile as much. I'm not trying to pick on those people, I'm just trying to give you some color of what this place is and how much diversity it contains. For example: Just saw a man walk by with an eye patch and its not even halloween! Big smile on my face right now. Can't they make something better for you eye instead of a pirate eye patch though? I mean really, why havn't they come out with one-eyed glasses? But, I loved the eye patch because it just fits in so well here. So I'm in writting class right now....I find that ironic. Side note - Camo pants with a grey dress shirt don't go together. Oh and to the guy wearing the Mickey Mouse sweat shirt, this is community college (not the happiest place on earth like say.....DisneyLand) but I applaud your attempt to make it that. Thank you. I feel happier. Ok, so to recap on Community College (just saw a mustache walk by), I love diversity and I love all the people that come here. I just want to shout out a big thank you to them for what they offer me. In a way they are all my teachers teaching me the ways of life and how to write about them. I love you college.
-Jon

Today

7:30am the alarm went off. "Ahhhhhh" Thats what I said when I heard it. I then remembered why I was getting up. School! Community college to be exact! I got excited because everyday at school is like going to an amusement park of fabulous events.

As I walked up to the building which contained my first class, I was greeted with the fresh smell of second hand smoke. Yum. I think the ratio of people who smoke to people who don't here is 5:1. That was a side note. Lets talk about my psychology class. First I just want to say that I love it and its my favorite class. One of the best things that happens everyday in there is this: the teacher will ask a question like "why might we not want to know who we really are? Ashley, tell why you think that is." and she will respond with "I think because we are scared". "ok ok ok. Tell me more. Why you think that is?" she responds with "Oh I don't know" Really? you don't know? Maybe shut your oral cavity and don't speak. I love that people will say anything in response to a question without even thinking about why they answered the way they did. Then they feel stupid and get embarrassed and I "lol" inside. Yeah that's possible. I laugh out loud inside my head thank you. Ok now to my writing class. Today I witnessed two guys passing a note. Lets break this down for a second. Passing notes.......wasn't that a middle school thing? The greatest thing is that these two guys are part of a group of three that are trying to impress a girl who sits in front of me. Before class starts all three of them talk to her starring at her like a bug who is about to die right before he gets electrocuted by the bug zapper. One of them is a wannabe rapper (funny). Another is about ten years old with a fro the size of the room. The last guy is a rocker and has huge lamb chops. Ok, lamb chops? Why do people like those? are they actually cool? Maybe they have them for when they get their mug shot taken? All you see in the photo is hair. Nice. Last week she gave them each a piece of gum and I'm pretty sure that was enough to give them all hope for a month. Oh she also has a boyfriend. Ok well this concludes today's writings. Thanks for reading!
-Jon

Today's Community

Let me first just give you a run down of community college. It's awesome. It's so diverse. It's great for watching people and talking to crazies. After being out of school for 5 years and recently deciding to return, I found myself disappointed in waiting so long to be submerged in this glorious array of amazingly awesome and fantastic people. I mean come on, where else can you find mullets and cowboys mixed with thugs, jocks and geeks? Community college! Thats where! Just as I am writing this I am starring at a gentleman who has hair down to his mid back and a fabulous and gorgeous mustache. I love mustaches. They make me feel......good inside. And mostly just for the fact that people still think they're mustache is the hottest thing out there and they are so proud to promote it! Don't get me wrong. I'm not dogging on the stache because I think they are fantastic. Community. Oh I almost forgot about the guys who think they are amazing at picking up girls.....hmmm......wow. I will save that for another time. Well I will be done here. There is so much to write about and you will hear it soon!

-Jon